


The Annual Twin Waters Spectacular Talent Show

by fazcinatingreads



Category: AFL - Fandom, Comedy - Fandom, Dancing - Fandom, Singing - Fandom, aussie rules, hub life, mason cox - Fandom, talent show - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26927326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fazcinatingreads/pseuds/fazcinatingreads
Summary: Mason Cox deals with his nerves ahead of his first stand up comedy performance.
Kudos: 1





	The Annual Twin Waters Spectacular Talent Show

Today was the day. The Annual Twin Waters Spectacular Talent Show was tonight. Mason Cox sat up in bed and grabbed his cue cards from the nightstand to read through them again. He was so nervous all week, because this was big. The Mason Cox Comedy Show was thriving on the field and everyone loved it, but he wanted to carve a comedy career off the football field as well. Mason really wanted to fill the off-field comedian role at Collingwood, a position that was vacant since Ben Crocker was delisted last year.  
He read through his jokes and anecdotes, hoping that his delivery and timing would be exactly the way he practiced, exactly the way Ben Crocker could deliver jokes and get big laughs every single time.

After spending the day rehearsing his lines, video chatting his parents, and going through his videos of Ben Crocker doing stand up at collingwood functions and conferences, Mason decided to head down to the Twin Waters concert hall. The night consisted of a three course meal, with the acts spread evenly through each of the courses. Mason knew he was on some time between the main meal and dessert, after Trey Ruscoe.

The players all arrived at the hall and sat at the tables, each seat with a good view of the stage. The entree was served, and Mason ate all of the smoked salmon with smashed avo and dill creme fraiche. He could feel the food churning with the butterflies in his stomach, and as he watched Will Kelly play a selection of George Ezra songs on his guitar, his beautiful voice wafting through the room, he felt calmer than he had in days.

Then Brayden Maynard and Jordan De Goey were up next, introducing a video they'd made of themselves performing Jackass-like stunts. It was very funny and had the audience (made up of collingwood staff, players, family members, and the staff at Twin Waters) in stitches. It was a hard act to follow, but Trent Bianco did it perfectly, as he whipped up flour and eggs and using a frypan on a standalone hot plate, he made the largest pancake that Mason had ever seen. It was almost as big as him. Trent wowed the audience and it was very wholesome.

"This is a family recipe," Trent said throughout the performance, "I hope to one day teach my kids how to do this, just as my father taught me."

He then divided it up and went around to every table, offering a bit to everyone in attendance. Mason took a small bit and it was seriously the most delicious pancake he'd ever eaten. He was very much amazed.

They had the main meal, eye fillet steak with chips and salad, and again Mason gobbled it all up much to the annoyance of his butterflies. His stomach threatened to throw everything up but watching Darcy Moore juggle knives and batons with flames on the end mesmerised him enough to calm his nerves.

Then it was Trey Ruscoe's turn. 

Trey performed a series of interpretative dances, complete with stunning ballet techniques and perfect gymnastics flips and twirls. Mason was amazed. He thought he would be following on after an amateur but no, Trey was expertly dancing his way around the stage, easily one of the best performances so far. He finished with a triple backflip and bowed. The audience went wild with applause.

The MC announced Mason's name, and Mason took a deep breath. This was it. This was the moment. 

Mason clutched his cue cards and walked to the stage, breathing in and out, in and out, the whole way there. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. He made it to the microphone and adjusted it to his height.

"Hi everyone," he started, "So most of you know me as the lanky giraffe on the football field, the star of the Mason Cox Football Comedy Show. But I'm here today, to bring you a different version. A show titled the Mason Cox Off-Field Comedy Show."

The audience chuckled.

"So you think I'm tall, right? Well I get that a lot. Everyone knows me as the tall guy. Then why is the shower head in every hotel room I've stayed in always too low to fit under?" Mason rhetorically asked.

The audience laughed.

After a few more jokes about his height, Mason said, "So, you might not know, but I'm not from here," he started, "I'm from America. Texas. Cowboy country. The Lone Star. We invented the word y'all."

The audience laughed.

"Other famous Texans include Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory, but I don't think we'd get along," Mason mused, "First of all, I only have an engineering degree, and Sheldon prefers the company of the PhD educated."

A couple of laughs, probably Big Bang Theory fans who know how much Sheldon teases and ridicules Howard only have an engineering degree.

"What's my favourite thing about Australia, you ask?" Mason said, assuming that this was indeed a question someone had asked, "I love the enthusiasm that Australians have for smashed avocado on toast. And the fanfare is real! It's amazing. I could eat a whole plate full every morning. So, why... did my local cafe go from serving two pieces of avocado toast to just the one?" Mason shook his head humourously and the audience chuckled, understanding his problem.

After a few more jokes, Mason concluded by saying, "I hope I've done enough to become the next comedian at Collingwood, to fill the void left by Ben Crocker. But I will not, under any circumstances, get any of his dreadful tattoos."

With that and a heap of laughter at Ben Crocker's expense, Mason left the stage and returned to his seats. His head was buzzing and all he immediately felt was relief. Relief that it was over and that everything had gone smoothly.

There was a few more acts (John Noble pouring vinegar and bicarb soda into a papier mache volcano and lava flowed out and also Jamie Elliott singing Love Story by Taylor Swift on an out-of-tune guitar much to the delight of every female in the hall) and then the dessert was served. Mason ate his chocolate fondant and strawberries, savouring each bite and not having to worry about butterflies in his stomach ruining his enjoyment.

Then it was time for everyone in the room to pick their favourite three acts via a secret ballot, each person giving 3, 2, 1 votes to the acts they thought were the best. The votes were anonymous so Mason gave himself 3 votes. He thought hard for who to give 1 and 2 votes to, and decided that Trent's pancake deserved 2 votes and Trey's dancing should get 1. He slipped his paper into the box at the front of the room and strutted back to his seat, confident and hopeful of getting in the top 3.

Mason chatted to his tablemates, who assured him that his jokes were funny and that they put him in their top 3.

"I loved that you mentioned the big bang theory," Tim Broomhead told him, "I loved the show, watched every episode on Netflix."

"You're welcome," Mason said, shrugging modestly. 

"Your jokes about tall people were so true," Darcy Cameron added to the praise, "I feel the same way in hotel rooms. Why do they make them so small?"

Callum Brown was sitting next to DC and rolled his eyes so far into the back of his head. "Yeah, alright, champ," Callum said. "Speak for yourself."

The staff at Twin Waters had tallied the votes and everyone stopped talking in anticipation of who will be announced as the winner.

"In third place, with a prize of $1,000..." the Twin Waters manager said, "We have Trey Ruscoe!"

Everyone applauded wildly, and Trey was blushing and smiling.

"Second place.... with a prize of $2,000.... goes to John Noble!!!" the manager announced.

The audience clapped wildly for John.

"And first place... with a prize of $5,000...." the manager said.

"Please please please," Mason said, crossing all of his fingers and toes so much that it hurt. He held his breath and waited. Closed his eyes. It had to be him. Surely.

"Jordy and Bruzzy!!!!" the manager shouted and the room erupted in applause.

Mason slumped in his seat, uncrossing his toes and fingers. Oh. Maybe he wasn't as funny as he thought. He put his cue cards in his jacket pocket and headed out of the hall amongst the crowd of people, but feeling so alone. He'll have to get better. He will write better jokes, maybe contact some stand up comedians like Carl Barron and... he couldn't think of any more stand up comedians. Strauchanie? No, that's a footballer. He pressed the elevator button and then crowded into an elevator but still lost in his thoughts. He got off at his floor with a few other boys and once he was in his room, Mason checked his phone. 1 message.

It was a voicemail from Ben Crocker and he didn't bother hearing the message, he just dialled Ben's number.

"Hello, Mason," Ben said, upon answering his phone, "I saw your stand up via Facetiming with brayden tonight." Mason held his breath, wondering what the king of comedy, the funniest man he'd ever met, would say about his stand up routine. "It was hilarious. You've got a real future. See you on the circuit."


End file.
